The End – Home

While I doubt I’ll fully have the words for this trip anytime soon, I planned to give myself at least 24 hours of pretty much solitude on the train to begin to decompress and collect myself before returning home and hitting the ground running. This is current me thanking 9 weeks ago me for this decision. At the time I was really struggling with it because I have friends in Oregon and Northern Northern California that I would’ve loved to see, but I think I knew for my own self-care I needed the time to just be. To let what has happened over the last x amount of days and weeks sink in. To let it begin to scratch the surface.

I sit here and think of how I have had a conversation with over 100 people during my trip. I have met well over that number though. In the moment, it doesn’t feel like much because each one is so unique. Taking a moment to sit down and think about all of the people I have met overwhelming. To think of each individual and their story – how their story has continued since then. How my story has continued since then, but that we crossed paths for whatever reason in that exact moment. How wild is that? How cool is that?

I sit here and think of each train ride I took, the anticipation and anxiety running through my body as I started to approach my destination, excited and nervous to see whoever was greeting me. Some of them I hadn’t seen in a few weeks or days. Some I hadn’t seen in a few months. Some I hadn’t seen in a few years. The uneasiness of traveling alone as a young female. Of being away from home. How those things never really fazed me. I was never concerned traveling alone – maybe it helped that I’m carrying a whole extra leg with me that I’m not afraid to use – maybe it was the train and how the train is run – maybe it’s just who I am as a person. I’m eternally grateful I never felt unsafe during this trip, for I know that is not true for many of my loved ones.

I sit here and think of the scenery my eyes were filled with. The moments that took my breath away because you wake up and all you see are beautiful rolling hills, or a farm (shout-out to the Midwest), or a gigantic mountain snow-capped in all of it’s morning glory. The scenery that reminds me how much more there is to explore in this world. How much more there is to see. How the train is such a rad and up-close experience to some of the most majestic sights. How different the cultures are all across the US. How some places have a ton of mailboxes but no post office, and brick buildings, and cobblestone roads, and buggys, and no fences surrounding their yards, and green golf courses (shout-out to California’s drought).

I sit here and think about how quickly strangers became friends and friends became closer friends. How I have never regretted asking someone how they are and giving them the space to be honest – even if I had just met them (sorry y’all). How heavy some of the conversations were that took place this trip. How the light continued to pour through those conversations – where pain is present, hope is present. How proud I am of each and every one of the people I get to consider a friend. How excited I am to do life alongside them. To be invited into the broken places. To meet them where they are. To love them and encourage them to continue becoming the best peoples they can be. To celebrate the little moments (like reliving the glorious music we listened to back in the day).

To the housemates and roommates of my people. I thank you. To the strangers in coffee shops and on trains that needed someone to talk to. I thank you. To the professors who invited me into your classrooms. I thank you. To the best fake boyfriend I could ask for. I thank you. To the Lyft and Uber drivers in numerous cities. I thank you. To the Amtrak staff that never fail to be some of the friendliest, kindest humans. I thank you. To the teammates of my people. I thank you. To the friends who gave up their weeknights and routines and beds and food and comfort. I thank you. To those that followed along vicariously through my blog. I thank you. To those that encouraged me to take this trip. I thank you. To those that walked alongside me during the heavier moments. I thank you. To my family and life back home that let me just peace out for a while and do this thing I needed to do. I thank you.

 

To you. From the bottom of my heart. I thank you.

 

I thank you for inviting me into your stories. Even if it was just for a conversation, a hug, or a simple smile. I thank you for inviting my friends into your stories and being a part of theirs. For loving them and for letting them love you. It’s brave and courageous to invite someone in, and you all do it with such grace. I’m forever in awe and humbled by the community I am surrounded by across this country (and Canada!). I’m in awe at how much that community grew over this trip.

While my train pulls into my final destination of San Jose, California I think of the word “home”. Home has always been a relative term for me. If we talk, I will tell you California is home – without a question – it’s where my roots are, I identify so strongly with the culture, and it’s where I feel most myself. Home is also about the people. As much as I love California and am so glad to be back, I know I have many “homes” across the country and world because that is where some of my favorite humans are.

You may ask, what does life look like after this? What does normal and routine look like? Considering I have been told multiple times recently my life is anything but normal or routine. It looks like hanging out with my little humans (aka children) that I have missed SO dearly and sent postcards to every stop of the way! It looks like transitioning into a full time position for Camp which we all don’t quite know what that’ll entail. It looks like training for AFSP’s The Overnight Walk (which is happening in like 2 weeks!!!) with my dad where we will be walking 16-18 miles throughout the night across San Francisco to raise funds for suicide prevention (shameless plug round 2: http://theovernight.donordrive.com/participant/monicagoulette). It looks like being a daughter. It looks like being a sister. It looks like being a granddaughter and cousin and niece. It looks like being the best person I can be, everyday. It looks like each day being just as much of an adventure as this whole trip has been.

With that, I want you to know this: this trip would not have been possible without you – whether or not we know each other personally. Because no one else can play your part. You matter. The world is a better place with you in it. I don’t know if you have ever been told that before, or if you believe it. But please go back and reread those words because they are important. You are important. Your story is important. If you are feeling like it isn’t or you need a little more support, reach out. Text Crisis Text Line at 741-741. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Check out To Write Love on Her Arms. We need you with us. We’re in this together.

 

With hope,

Monica

Washington – The Evergreen State

I’ll start this by saying how odd it is to be back on this time zone. It made work and checking in with my family really difficult while I was on other time zones, but it made being able to talk to my friends and some of my favorite humans a lot easier. I didn’t have to do the math every single time I sent a text or needed to call. It was grand. Welp, here we are back to doing math all the time again. For sure makes sports a little easier for me though – very grateful I don’t have to stay up absurdly late anymore.

ANYHOW, let’s get into what y’all actually want to know about – my time in Washington! I obviously didn’t get a post up in between Spokane and Tacoma/Seattle, so this blog will be a combined one.

Spokane:

I arrived in Spokane around 1AM and it was pouring rain. I could not have been more surprised to get off a train for the first time in 38 hours to rain… Krissy picked me up from the train station and we headed back to her apartment. It was nice to be in a “familiar” location as I had visited her last year. Caught up for a little while before I realized my body was like “Nope, Monica. It is 4:30AM cause of time changes. You need sleep.”

Slept in a bit, made some breakfast and continued to catch up and fill her in on how the trip has been going. We then decided to go on an adventure and headed to Coeur d’Alene, Idaho to check it out and explore a little. Sat by the lake for a while, walked around town, and got some lunch. It was pretty laid-back before making the drive back. On the drive back, we passed by a dam which of course prompted me to tell her we had to turn around and go find it. She was game too so we headed on a mission to find the dam which was in Post Falls. It was a super cool little park where you could overlook the rapids. We hung out there a bit and then continued our drive back to her place. Along the way, we stopped by her aunt’s store and said hello which was great to see her again after many years. Hung out at her place for a bit and then went out for dinner at a local Thai place she had been wanting to try for a long time. It was delicious. We called it a pretty early night by watching some Netflix and just being with each other because we knew we’d have an early morning.

The next morning was what is called Bloomsday. It’s a super famous 12k race that is put on in Spokane every year. They shut down the whole city and thousands of runners/walkers/people participate. We did not intend to participate so we walked to town after it had started and stood by the finish line watching the groups come through. It was very cool and definitely inspiring to watch these people finish SO quickly. We met up with one of her friends that had raced and walked around with him for a little before walking back to her apartment. I headed to Starbucks to get some work done, and she headed for a nap. We rejoined a few hours later and stopped by the mall to shop a bit then went to see a movie before calling it a night before I had to take off on the train. We ate some dinner, watched some more Netflix, took a power nap, and then off we were to the train station around 1AM! Then I was on the train headed to Seattle!

 

Post Falls Dam

Seattle/Tacoma:

Train ride was absolutely spectacular. Oh my goodness. Slept through most of the “boring” parts, but woke up to the majesticness (so not a word) that is the Cascades. Wow, breath-taking. Pictures don’t do it justice either. I was just staring out the window for many hours watching the snow-capped mountains pass by and us follow along the river. Stunning. Eventually, I arrived into Seattle and did some work while waiting for Dylan to pick me up. From Seattle we made the commute back to Tacoma where their house is. Got to the house and I dropped my stuff off, grabbed some food, changed, and soon we were off to explore a bit of what Tacoma is. We drove through downtown, along the waterfront, and through the scenic 5-mile drive in Point Defiance Park. Some spectacular scenery and very cool to see where they take the dogs and what routine looks like to them. Dylan had to take off to school after that so I made some phone calls to my lovely people, did some work, and laid out in the backyard for a little. The weather was epic after coming off of freezing weather and the sunshine was a great change of pace. That evening, when Mel returned from work and Dylan got back from class, we went out to one of their favorite local bars, the Top. Watched the Spurs game and caught up for a bit before heading back to the house for the night.

Slept in (which has been my favorite) and took the dogs to the dog park in Point Defiance Park and took a little stroll in on the trails too. They overlook Gig Harbor and it was a fairly clear day so there was a great view of the bridge and the surrounding water which was awesome. It’s been so nice to be back in mountains and nature again. I then caught a bus into Seattle from the Tacoma station. The bus was easy (I’m becoming queen of other cities public transportation) and dropped me off right near Pike Place Market. A fellow TWLOHA alumni intern, Daylee, and I were heading to The Summer Set show. Daylee is super rad, and lives about an hour from the city, but came into town to hang out with me and to talk to Emily (see Chicago post for more about talking to Emily). We had decided kind of last minute that “hey! The Summer Set is in town – that means we can go talk to Emily!!!” We grabbed dinner prior to the show and got to know each other better – very cool how quickly you can become friends with people in the TWLOHA family and how nothing feels awkward or uncomfortable. So eternally grateful for this community. The show was super rad. We got to talk to Emily. And hug her. Then I was back to Tacoma for the night.

Slept in (again!!) and then Dylan and I went out for an adventure to find some donuts and to check out the Chihuly Bridge of Glass which is one of Tacoma’s more famous tourist attractions. Very beautiful and talented. Cool to see that part of Tacoma too. After our little adventure – I did some laundry, packed, showered, and took a super quick nap. We went to the Rainiers game who are the minor league team for the Mariners. Mel and Dylan have season tickets and the stadium is about a 7 minute walk from the house so we headed over there for Star Wars night. As many know, I love baseball, so of course, I wouldn’t pass up a game. Because they are a minor league team they pull out all the stops for entertainment. We were all in tears dancing along as well as watching the light saber fights between the dark side and the Jedis. The mascot was hilarious. We had a great time. Took it easy after the game, and I prepared for my long train ride tomorrow.

Mel and I at the Rainiers Game

Coming up!

• 24 hour train ride!
• Recapping and processing
• Reunited with my state

 

This was my last official stop of my train trip, but I will be doing one last recap blog that will be posted when I return home.

With hope,

Monica

38 Hours

Written while listening to the podcast Sounds Good with Branden Harvey. Seriously will hit ya right in the feels. Check it out. It’s got a lot of gold in it.

 

38 hours. As the sun officially starts to set, I’m left with another five to go. Most of this trip has been without service, and due to just carrying my turtle shell and a leg with me – I’ve pretty much been with my thoughts, a nook, a window, and the backs of my eyelids since 2PM CDT yesterday…

Which means, I’ve gotten to actually stop and think for the first time, and man was it after one of the harder weeks of this trip. As phenomenal and jam-packed as my Chicago (I say Chicago, but I mean all the surrounding areas I went to too, but that was like my physical train stop, you know?) stop was, there were also a lot of tough conversations during it. Some with the people sitting next to or across from me, some via the phone and text, some with strangers who quickly became friends, some with friends I’ve known for years, some with people I will never meet again, and some that I don’t know the next time I’ll see them. All that remind me of the brokenness in every person’s story and how much people need other people. We, as humans, are not made to do life alone.

Billy and I joke that our friendship is the epitome of heavy and light – a solid balance. We can go to that heavy level in a healthy way while always knowing the light isn’t far away. We can bounce between the two with ease. But being able to talk about the heavy means just that, going to those heavier places and discussing what they mean. The failed relationships. The pain in loved one’s stories that they aren’t willing to share yet, but you know is there. The friends in treatment. The empty seats at dinner tables. While at the same time, the light is still so present. Being able to scream one of your favorite artists songs and then getting to see it live and breaking out in a smile. Listening to the same album on repeat just to get the lyrics right and then talking through the whole thing so you gotta listen again and again and again. To joking about getting matching poop emoji tattoos because life is short (don’t worry Mom and Dad – we did NOT. Your daughter is smarter than that J). The fact that I took a freaking train to Illinois. This is how our friendship works; these are the conversations I expected. They are the ones Billy has come to expect too.

But this isn’t about Billy’s and my friendship. This is about the conversations that took place over the past week. The one where you sit down on a roof with someone you just met and stare up at the sky, in the freezing air, skip the small talk, and head straight into who is God and how do you support people and what does pain look like. The one where you wake up the next morning and get the news that another young life was lost to suicide in your community. The one where you sit down with someone you barely met a month ago, and you eat tacos and talk about how life is hard and getting help is hard, but it’s worth it. The one where you talk about the future and how nothing is going according to plan, and you’re trying to trust that the universe is going to work itself out and you’ll get what you need, but the anxiety is too much sometimes. The one where you discuss failed past relationships and broken trust and how do you repair that or not let it affect your future relationships. The one where you talk about health scares and what they mean. The one where you talk about the difference between depression and sadness. The one where you discuss the difference between alcoholism or addiction and college and realize there may not be much of one. The one where you’re told for the first time you are allowed to feel what you are feeling – it is valid – and no one can take that from you. The one where you encourage someone to seek help for the first time – it is okay to ask for help. The one where over the loudspeaker the conductor says, “We apologize for the delay; there has been a fatality on the tracks.” The one where you get the text saying “hey, I’m having a real rough day today.”

These were all conversations I had this past week. Each with a different person. Some I had known for ten minutes. Some I have known for ten years. To say this week was hard is an understatement. To say that I now have two more reasons to be walking in AFSP’s Overnight Walk in less than a month is awful. (Shameless plug – check out my page here: http://theovernight.donordrive.com/participant/monicagoulette) To say, that despite all of this, I am hopeful.

While my heart is incredibly heavy, some of these conversations led to phone calls to counselors to make an appointment for the first time. They led to grace. The led to waking up and rolling over to say thank you for existing. They led to love. They led to hope. I’m inspired by the courage of my friends. To share their brokenness is no easy feat, and it takes a lot of bravery. To walk alongside them is an absolute honor and privilege.

 

You matter. Your story matters. If you are struggling, please reach out for help. Help is available and it is real. If you don’t know what that looks like, I’d love to have a conversation with you. You are loved. You are worthy. You are not alone.

Text “START” to Crisis Text Line 24/7 at 741-741. Call National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24/7 at 800-273-8255. Check out TWLOHA for more resources in your area.

 

With Hope,

Monica

 

Chicago – The Windy City

What an absolutely unreal week – I’m going to break this down by days. This blog has been surprisingly difficult to write. I feel as though words are tough and I can’t find the right ones right now. Bear with me; I’m going to try.

 

Day 1 – Aurora

The train ride over to Chicago from Detroit was uneventful. It was super early in the morning, which meant I slept through most of the ride… I woke up for a snack from the Lounge car and also because we got delayed in a wee little town in Indiana. Time changes are weird – like usually you get on a plane turn it off or put it on airplane mode and expect it to change when you get to your destination (well that’s how I am at least), but when you are on the train and have nothing better to do, you get to actually WATCH the time go backwards. Wild. Especially cause only my phone was prepared, so my wristwatch, computer and phone were all sorts of confused. Arrived at Chicago Union Station around 11 and grabbed some lunch then hopped onto one of the commuter trains en route to Aurora. Billy picked me up at the train station and we headed to a little coffee shop that was on a river. Super rad place, warm enough to where we sat outside and caught up about the last month. Not too much to catch up on cause we had just seen each other and talk pretty much daily anyways, but always good to be in good company with a solid cup of coffee. Went to his place so I could drop off my leg and bag then we were off to grocery shop! Grocery shopping never fails to be an adventure with Billy so that obviously took us a while, made some quick dinner and were off to go see one of our favorite artists perform about an hour away from his place. Noah Gundersen is a phenomenal soul. I’ve seen him live many a times prior, but this was the first time Billy had and it was by far the best I had seen. It was in this super intimate venue (maybe 200 people total) called Space and it was just Noah and a guitar and occasionally his piano. Absolutely incredible. Made it back from the show in time for Billy to watch the rest of the Blackhawks game while I streamed the Warriors game. Quite the pair, huh?

 

Day 2 – Aurora

Let’s go to college!! Billy has class from about 9-1 and then work from 1-5 multiple days a week, I of course happened to be in town for one of those days. Headed to campus and found a little spot to set up and get some work done and then Billy decided I should just come to class with him instead of sitting by myself so off we went to learn about the Autism Spectrum and addiction. At least it was a fascinating one, but also one that I knew a fair amount about because back home these are subjects brought up often. Billy works in a computer lab so I proceeded to do more work in the lab with him. Back to his place for a quick second to drop things off and change and then we were off to meet his family halfway between school and home for some yummy pizza. Had to of course get the classic Chicago pizza while I’m out here. I met his parents while we were in Florida, but his sister, Erin, and her husband and little one joined us as well, which was SO good. I’d heard stories for a year now and it was awesome to finally be able to hug her and get to know her in real life rather than just through stories. After dinner we headed back to Billy’s place and he had some friends over so I got to do meet and greet. The classic line of this trip has been, “This is Monica – she’s not from here.” Then I get to step in and talk about why I’m here and how I got there. These were all people I had heard stories about for the past year and it was so good to finally meet them and put faces to names and personalities. To make the stories real.

 

Day 3 – Aurora

Grabbed some much needed breakfast where I got Banana Bread French Toast. I still can’t believe that’s actually a thing, but I promise. It’s real. Stopped by the grocery store. Again. Then we headed to Billy’s friend’s place to chill for a while. Watched a couple rounds of KanJam and got a nice little Chaco tan before taking off to meet up with a fellow TWLOHA alumni intern. Reb was a fall 2015 intern (the term after me) who I had very briefly met at the TWLOHA10 celebration and lives about ten minutes from Billy. We ate some Mexican food and walked around a park just talking. It’s amazing how the TWLOHA family works. More on that in my next blog. The Blackhawks were playing again so I returned to Billy’s house around the time of the game and then later on we headed out to a party so I could get the full Aurora experience. Cause college.

 

Day 4 – Aurora

Laundry has quickly become one of my favorite things. Mainly because I am pretty sure I don’t have any clean clothing ever anymore… Finished my laundry and then Billy and I were off on the longest Starbucks adventure ever. We legit drove 30 minutes each direction solely to get Starbucks… well that wasn’t the original plan, but that’s what ended up happening. We tried to go to this cute lil hipster spot, but that was going to be an hour wait and I had places to go and people to meet (actually) and he had quite a bit of homework to do. So Starbucks it was. I rapid changed when we got back to his place and then Reb and I were off to a concert. The Summer Set is a band that has supported TWLOHA for many many years now and they are currently on tour with a TWLOHA staff member (sweet sweet Emily). Reb has loved The Summer Set for quite a long time, and I’ve seen them multiple times live over the years and have really grown to love their music. Reb had an extra ticket and I told her I was happy to go with her if she wanted the company so off we went! PLUS, WE GOT TO TALK TO EMILY – this is halfly an inside joke, but TWLOHA put out announcements about the tour with Emily’s face in the corner saying Info + Merch + Talk to Emily. Obviously, we were only there to talk to Emily… Well, anyways, Reb had meet and greet tickets so we grabbed lunch with Emily then headed to the meet and greet where the whole band appreciated our TWLOHA shirts and it was funny cause they immediately knew we were interns and there to talk to Emily. Hung out with Emily some more and enjoyed a dang good show. Probably one of the best sets I’ve ever seen them play. Very well done.

 

Day 5 – Wheaton

Woke up bright and early to send Billy on his way to class, I packed up and was off to Wheaton. Reb was such a kind soul and offered to drive me over there – so rad. Met up with Shelbs and we went to Chapel. After Chapel, I got to be honorary college student round 100 and attended her bible classes with her. Her professors thought I was hilarious and couldn’t believe I had traveled all this way solely to sit in a class with Shelby. Grabbed some lunch and got to catch up on what’s been going on lately – she had a huge health scare a couple months ago and so we talked about that and the future and the homies. Went to Starbucks to do some work, then went out to dinner with a few of her volleyball friends. Back to the library to do some more work and then we were off to grab some gelato. I got to meet a bunch of her friends and her boyfriend – all of whom are rad people in my short little 24-hour visit.

 

Day 6 – Wheaton/Chicago

Went to breakfast with her roomie and boyfriend, headed to the library to do some more work (they have tests all next week) and then I was off on a train to downtown Chicago! Sarah met me at the station and we were off to start exploring! We walked straight to Millennium Park to check out the Bean – super cool – and wandered around for a little while. We hopped on the “L” to her apartment in Wrigleyville and found some food and purchased myself a ticket to the Cubs game that evening! As many of you know, baseball is my thing so I obviously had to go to Wrigley. Sarah ended up having to go to a class that evening that I couldn’t tag along to, so it made perfect sense to go. Took the “L” back to her school, did a quick little tour, picked up an air mattress and went back to her apartment. Bundled me up in a ton of clothing because it was a whopping 42 degrees out… and off I went to the Cubs game! Baseball games alone might be one of my favorite things, but part way through Billy hit me up letting me know one of his friends was at the game too. I ended up meeting up with Taylor part way through the game and hung out with him for the rest of it. He found out that I was chilling in Chicago solo for the next 24 or something hours with no plans except to come to another Cubs game the next night and told him he was welcome to join. We parted ways after the game and I headed back to Sarah’s for the night. It was really great to spend the day with her and catch up on what life has been for her while out in Chicago. She’s someone I have known since kindergarten so it’s always easy when you can slide right back into those friendships like that.

 

Day 7 – Chicago

Solo! I took off when Sarah had to head to school which was around 10 and walked to my hotel. They let me store my bag and leg there for the day and off I went on my own little adventure. My hotel was near Lincoln Park (actual Lincoln Park not the little section of Chicago). Walked over there to start my exploring. They’ve got a zoo that’s free so of course I went there. Then there’s a river walk so of course I did that. Then “the beach” is kind of nearby so of course had to walk there. Mind you, it’s about 40 degrees out the whole day and there is NO ONE in sight, which is my perfect kind of day at this point – I mean not the 40 degrees part, the no one in sight part was clutch. Walked back to the hotel eventually and got myself all checked in and took a little snooze. Found another friend in the city, I think I’ve known Laurel probably the longest of everyone on this trip. We met because our brothers played baseball together x amount of years ago and our Dads’ are great friends. I checked out her dorm, got to meet some of her peeps and then we bonded about California and home and how life is for a bit over coffee. Now it is evening and it’s just beginning to sprinkle, but Taylor decided to make the trek back into the city to go to the Cubs game with me unless the game was called then we would find something else to do. Well, of course, the game gets called (thankfully I went the night before!!) so we went with our next best option. Barhopping. It was just us for a while and then his friend, Cody met up with us because Cody works for MLB.com for the Cubs and was free cause, no game. They’ve known each other since kindergarten so it was super cool to see how they interacted compared to me seeing all my friends from that long ago on this trip. We had a super solid night bouncing around checking out all the “famous” bars you have to see in Wrigleyville.

 

Day 8 – Chicago/train

Turns out over the course of the whole day I walked myself a solid 16 miles… I guess… so I slept in. Check out was at noon, didn’t get out of bed til 11:30. Had big dreams to explore more of the city in the morning and then nope. Headed to Union Station, grabbed some food and hopped on my train!

 

This was mainly a breakdown of what I did each day in the Chicago area as I realized I was really struggling to write how the week went. Another blog post is coming with probably more details surrounding the week and those things called feelings cause it was super emotionally charged and I’ve now had close to 36 hours to decompress while sitting in my little nook.

 

Tentative Washington plan:

• Krissy!
• Mel!
• That’s as far as we made it…

 

With Hope,

Monica

Billy and I in class

Cubs game

Reb and Emily at the concert

Sarah and I at the Bean

Shelby and I at Wheaton

Michigan – The Hand

The ongoing joke of this stop was that you can point every location out in Michigan based off of your hand. Hold your palm out, face up and in the bottom southeast corner is Detroit, then the middle is central Michigan, and a little below that is Flint, so on and so forth – I think you get the point.

I departed Canada in a Greyhound Bus – it was the cheaper option by about $200 and took me directly to Detroit. Buses are no fun. It was a smooth ride and everything was on time, but man was it cramped. The first stretch I had to sit with my legs propped super awkwardly (which is not easy in a leg brace) because I had to put my backpack at my feet. I didn’t feel comfortable putting it under the bus considering it is my entire life for these sixish weeks. After the first stop (about two hours into the trip), the person sitting next to me left and I could finally stretch my legs out and get a little more comfy. Spent the rest of the bus ride switching off between napping and starring out the scenery that didn’t change much. Lots of farms. Arrived in Detroit and Ubered to a nearby Starbucks.

In fairness, the Starbucks was about .3 miles from the bus station, but safety is definitely a thing. My Uber driver was the kindest man who was so excited I got to experience Detroit. He even walked me to the Starbucks because where he had to let me off wasn’t exactly in sight. It was very kind. About an hour or so later, Nate picked me up!! He had class then made the 2 and half hour trek to come fetch me on a Monday night! His parents live in a suburb nearby so we headed there for the night. Picked up some beverages and some high quality Little Caesar’s pizza and called it reminiscing about summer. It was so good to just sit and catch up in person over the past bunch of months. We’ve texted here and there since the internship ended, but it was great to really have a conversation and discuss the details. His parents came home later that night, and I was so looking forward to meeting them. I had heard lots about them over the summer so it was nice to finally be able to hug them and put faces to names!

Took off early the next morning because Nate had class back in Central Michigan so off we went. Dropped my stuff off at his place and then headed to a local hipster coffee shop to do some work and pass the time. Got a lot done and enjoyed just being for a bit. After class, Nate and I watched an episode of Psych, took some photos for a school project – I was his model haha, adventured off to find a mailbox, and grabbed malts to wander around campus with. We joked about a ton, decided what parts we missed about each other, and laughed about how once we were done with the “catch up” everything was totally back to normal. Nate had another class so I found another spot to chill and do more work and then we were off to what is called a UChapter Meeting. Some schools have UChapters which are like TWLOHA clubs kind of super vaguely on college campuses and Nate’s happens to have one. They were getting ready for a bunch of events next week and I tagged along to see what it was like. I never shared that I was a past intern as that is a touchy subject sometimes, but helped where I could but was mainly there for moral support. Finished up and hung out a bit more then we were off to bed!

Nate had class bright and early so I slept in and then packed up. He stopped by in between classes and we had some breakfast and said our goodbyes. It was definitely hard to say bye, but bittersweet too. As I think I mentioned earlier, when I left Florida everything was very definite – none of us had plans to see anyone. Now, I know I’m going to see every person from my term again. And again. And again. These people are such a huge part of my story and I know they are going to be around – no matter where we live our stories will always be intertwined and crossing over with visits when possible! It’s a weird spot because I have no clue when I will see them next, but I know I will. That’s a pretty cool feeling.

From there, jumped on a bus and headed back to Detroit solo for the night. Met some interesting people. An amputee who approached me by saying “I mean you no harm” (side note – how scary we live in a world where he has to walk up to me saying that) where we talked about orthotics and prosthetics and how doors will open when his prosthesis comes in in a few months. He’s been on crutches for the past two years and was really concerned what learning to walk would be like and was asking me because he noticed my leg. Met a couple people in the hotel lobby and we got to talking about miracles and he was cracking up about my trip and how I chose some of the “sketchiest” neighborhoods in America to stop by. We laughed about that and I told him to look for the good people, but be careful and know your surroundings too. He had a fascinating life story too that we briefly talked about – he’s been shot three times while driving his taxi. Pretty wild. Hence why we were talking about miracles, both him and I still being here. There’s a lot of culture here, a lot of pride too. Fascinating.

Coming up in Chicago:

• Noah Gundersen Concert!!!!!!!!!
• Billy
• Sarah
• Shelby
• Maybe Laurel
• Hanging out
• Cubs Game?
• All of the things!!

With Hope,

Monica

Nate and I

Canada – Keep Exploring

What a weekend. It was nothing like I expected and everything I needed.

14 hours on a train is a little long. Woke up by about 4:45AM in Brooklyn, NY to catch the subway to catch my train. I obviously slept a lot on the train. The parts I did get to see were beautiful though – as the whole trip has been. Spent a whopping $3 on a Cup of Noodle for lunch and plugged away on some work I needed to get done. Felt like a productive train ride at least. I didn’t have anyone sitting next to me so I had the chance to sprawl out and really take full advantage during my naps. Crossing the border into Canada was a wee bit scary. (The Warriors had JUST won Game 1 though so I was pretty stoked!!). To get across the border we took a super cool bridge that went over rapids from Niagara Falls – even though we didn’t get to see the falls, it was amazing to see the rapids. RIGHT on the other side of the bridge, they brought the train to a stop and border patrol quickly boarded the train and did their first sweep of it. Then we were off into the little customs room where I was asked 10,000 questions about all the who, what, when, where, and whys of my trip to Canada. Also, why I was entering from New York City and then heading to Detroit, but from California, but not going home for a while, and having been gone for a while. You can imagine how confused the customs agent was. BUT I made it through no problem (of course after throwing out my mace because that’s illegal in Canada and I decided my $10 mace wasn’t worth going to jail for). It was another few hours to Oakville where I took a nap and listened to some podcasts.

Arrived at the train station and it’s amazing how nerve-wracking it is to not have a way to contact your ride in a foreign country. Welp, spent about 10 minutes of us both looking for each other in nearly the same place before Emily and I were reunited and then we were off for the hourish drive back to her parents house! Stopped in the town of Waterloo for a quick beverage and catch up before heading back for the night. Had a heck of an adventure trying to find parking and driving around town because so much of it is under construction, but it definitely helped break the ice and brought some much needed laughter. Called it an early night after getting a tour of the house and looking at some baby pictures.

Woke up and did some much needed rehumaning (I now refer to it as that). Realized I hadn’t showered in like three states (total TMI) so took a wonderfully relaxing and cleansing shower then ate a very hearty breakfast. We then were off for the “surprise” I mentioned about last post. The surprise was actually hilarious and SO unexpected. It was her Mom’s idea and Emily kept it a surprise all the way up until it happened. We got in the car and she goes “Okay, so it’s a little later than I expected, but I think we should still be able to find them.” I had absolutely NO clue what on earth she was talking about. Continued driving for about 10 minutes and next thing you know we come across, none other than, a BUGGY SIGN. Mind you, buggies are exactly what you think they are. Little carriages drawn by a pony or horse. Emily’s surprise was literally to drive around and find buggies. What even. There is no way I could have guessed that that was the surprise. We seriously drove around for two hours exploring the back roads and searching for buggies. Came across a few and got to see some children playing in the yard which was so cool. Emily happens to live pretty much in a Mennonite community – she and her family are not, but their house is located in the area. We talked a lot about what living in a Mennonite community means, what the different types are, and how wild it is to think of our lives compared. It was SO fascinating.

After our surprise adventure, we headed back to her house for some lunch that her mom so kindly cooked for us, headed to the store to pick up some beverages, and spent the rest of the day sitting out by the pool. Emily’s parents house is spectacular. They pretty much live on a farm with tons of land in all directions, a beautiful barn, and a house that was built two hundred years ago from the pioneers. Just absolutely breath-taking for lack of a better word. Enjoyed the sunshine (don’t worry I had sunscreen on this time), and just hung out and caught up about the past 8 months and where we are at and where we want to go from here. Her parents joined us once they were done with their chores and we joked about American politics and how into them Canadians are, as well as about my job and how important the work I do at Camp is – side note: her dad went to a very similar camp but it mainly focused on eradicating racism when he was 11 and he still remembers it very clearly. I passed the “interview” and it was great to get to know them and find out the roles and influences they have had in Emily’s story. Em and I hung out by the pool a bit longer while her parents went in to cook dinner, and we all sat down and enjoyed dinner together. Talking about storms and if earthquakes are actually a thing, my trip, medical things, and how TWLOHA has impacted us and brought us together. Very cool. Very grateful.

Emily and I stayed up a while longer catching up and just being. Being present in the moment and enjoying each others company. We also did laundry because I needed clothing… And headed to bed because we had a long travel day ahead of us.

Finished packing in the morning and ate some breakfast plus made a little lunch for my bus ride and were off to the bus station! Emily stayed all the way until my bus pulled out of the station which was so sweet and it was bittersweet to say goodbye. It was interesting though because as I’m continuing on my trip I’m realizing how none of these are actually goodbyes, but every time I’ve left someone it’s been an “I’ll see ya out in California soon!”. No byes need to be said when you have friends like this. So rad.

Michigan shenanigans:

• Nate!
• Meeting his parents
• Photos
• Class

With Hope,

Monica

Emily and I with a Buggy sign!

New York – The Empire City

What a freaking experience. New York City is unreal. I couldn’t have asked for a better 18 hours in this city.

Hopped on the train in Connecticut super early in the morning and had a quick 2 and a half hour train ride into New York. While all of it is beautiful, I think my favorite part was coming around a bend over the river and seeing the skyline spot on. It was amazing. I didn’t sit next to anyone on the train so I got to take a power nap and enjoy the silence – good recharging time for me. Arrived into Penn Station and was immediately overwhelmed.

Oh my gosh – if you’ve never been to Penn Station in New York I do not recommend your first experience be during rush hour. There were SO many people and I felt like I was trapped in a maze of buildings and humans. Eventually, I found my way out and walked to a nearby restaurant, Friedman’s, to grub with Sophia – another elementary school friend. Sophia goes to Columbia and it was great to connect over a meal – talk about what’s coming up in the next month, as well as what a potential game plan is for after graduation. We both couldn’t get over how graduation is right around the corner and how “old” we feel. Most of us remember when friend’s older siblings were heading off to college and then graduating – now that’s our crew. Pretty wild. She’s running a half-marathon tomorrow so keep her in your thoughts too! We parted ways and I was off again – solo in the big huge city.

I wasn’t solo for long though, one of my first graders and their family had been vacationing in New York for spring break and happened to be “free” to explore with me. We met up at Chelsea Market and went over to Highline Park which was this cute little walking park on top of a bunch of buildings. We made friends through a window with a bunch of students who were at lunch in their cafeteria and we all talked about how different it would be to grow up in a place like New York compared to Los Altos. We jumped in taxis and headed to this AMAZING bakery that had the most delicious, thickest cookies I’ve ever eaten and walked over to Central Park to explore a bit and head to the Plaza hotel where we found some late lunch. It was SO good to see the family and to look at all the spots from locals (both the parents lived in NYC). Made me realize how much I miss being around kids too. After lunch, they took off and I was solo again. I headed back to Central Park because I didn’t really know what else to do and I got my huge backpack with me. Spent some nice quality time by the lake, people watching and decompressing. Also, spending some time reflecting on my trip so far as I haven’t really had much of a chance to yet. Pretty cool what all has happened these past few weeks, very grateful.

My other elementary school friend, Ryan, met up with me in Central Park once he was finished with his school work. We both reveled in awe at how this park was smack in the middle of the city yet you wouldn’t have a clue because you felt so separate. I guess on the weekends it’s a TON more crowded, and there were a bunch of people there anyways, but it was a total different vibe from the city. Spent a while longer at the park and then walked to his favorite sports bar for dinner. It was cool to check out one of his spots and a local thing to do – both the Mets and the Yankees were playing so the place was pretty loud, but it was cool to see how into it people are. I am pretty spoiled with the Giants. After dinner, we decided to check out the spectacle that is Times Square at night.

Oh my God. By far the most unreal thing I have experienced on this trip so far. To turn that corner and see thousands of people and the lights and screens and stores. There’s nothing like it. Ryan and I had a pretty funny conversation where I joked about how much energy it was using and how this is what people view America as, which to me, that’s the ONLY place in all of America that is like that. Wild concept. We also talked about how it is a piece of what America is though – there is no denying that. Stood there in silence and awe for about five minutes just trying to absorb what was happening around us. Checked out some of the shops and a cool comic book store. Experienced the subway system and we called it a night after watching Interstellar.

I’d definitely love to make it back to New York City someday, maybe spend a week really exploring the museums and taking in all the sites, but I think these 18 hours could not have been spent better.

Woke up super bright and early to catch the subway to my train and now I’m en route to Canada!

Canada plans:

• Emily! (intern)
• Yummy food
• Laundry and a shower
• a surprise (Emily won’t tell me)

With Hope,

Monica

Bryn (6th), Tessa (1st), me, Nate (3rd), Teddy (8th) and a leg 🙂

Ryan and I at Times Square

Connecticut – Full of Surprises

Trains are such an interesting mode of transportation. You really have no clue who you are going to meet or what you are going to come across – they are full of surprises. Which also sums up my visit to Connecticut as a whole. En route from Baltimore to Connecticut, we got to view some more beautiful scenery. I sat next to a very sweet girl who was visiting internationally and we were both in awe of the rivers and hills and trees that we watched pass by out our window. We were also in awe of the cities and skylines that would appear out of seemingly no where.

Arrived in the middle of the afternoon and walked to downtown (about two blocks away) for some quick lunch then I was off on my journey to Wesleyan University in Middletown, CT! Met up with Torie quickly and easily at the student center. It was the first time I had seen her since high school. I was definitely nervous leading up to seeing her because even though we’ve known each other for over 15 years and were best friends for many of those, we are both different people than who we were then. Would we connect? Would we still get along? Would we have anything in common at all? It was a warm greeting full of excitement. We walked around a bit and headed back to her house. We reconnected and caught up on “everything” from the past bunch of years. Discussed family, work, life plans, old friends, reminisced. Ended up playing a pick up game of basketball with a couple of her friends. Made some dinner and hung out with her housemate, Margaret, while Torie was on a call. Then we were off to, what was my favorite part of the visit, Torie’s choir rehearsal. Torie is not in any standard choir and of course forgot to mention this to me prior to attending – she’s part of an Eastern European Folk group. Fittingly enough, one of my other friends from high school, Arian, is ALSO in this small little 10ish person singing group. What a small world – it is full of surprises. The songs were tons of fun, and the group was super welcoming of me which was very cool. Checked out the student run coffee shop and then headed out to “Bar Night”. Bar Night happens most Wednesdays at a local bar and this night is was unusually PACKED. Seniors had JUST turned in their theses so everyone was very excited to be celebrating and I got to see a totally different scene of Wesleyan. Speaking of surprises – ran into ANOTHER high school friend, Althea, at Bar Night! Torie hadn’t been to Bar night in over a year and Althea never goes either so the fact we were all there at once was unreal. It was awesome to reconnect with Althea a little bit, and to dance the night away.

I got to sleep in while Torie headed to class. I also ended up getting a lot of work done which felt great. Althea had texted me about meeting up for lunch so we could reconnect more – I joined her at the student center and we ate way too much food. It was great conversation about how her transfer went, what she likes about Wesleyan, and also what she is hoping to do. We also reminisced a bit. I’ve loved reconnecting with old friends throughout this trip, and hearing about what they are doing now and how it aligns with who they were five, six, seven years ago. It’s amazing how many of their interests are the same, but are channeled in different ways and their confidence in what they are passionate about is more evident. It gets me excited for their future’s and what they’re going to do. After lunch, I met back up with Torie and we watched a German film for her class and then headed to a class discussion about the film. Definitely appreciated sitting in on her class and observing how different professors teach. The class wasn’t too exciting, but still interesting to attend. On our way back, Torie got invited to join a panel of fellow students to talk a bit about what student life is like a Wesleyan for prospective students that were visiting this week. After an hour, we were off to go chill for a little bit with a few of her friends before she had another call and class. I ended up back at her house and got some more work done while she was in class and made myself some dinner. Once she returned from class, a few of us hung out at her place with her housemates. It was awesome to get to know them on a more personal level – they were funny and welcoming people that made an effort to get to know me as well. I really appreciated their hospitality. We had some beverages and reminisced for a while – Arian joined us too and we discussed high school and where people were at now. All in very different places than last time we were together. Cool how life works and who reappears into your life throughout it.

Woke up bright and early with a beautiful sunrise this morning to catch the train! On my way to New York City now.

Comin’ up:

• Sophia
• Ryan
• Touristyness
• Lunch with one of my 1st graders, hopefully!

With Hope,

Monica

Torie and I

Baltimore – Birthplace of The Star-Spangled Banner

The trip from Washington DC to Baltimore was a quick hour. I ended up taking the MARC train which is similar to Caltrain back home – the classic commuter that went from DC to Baltimore. Arrived at beautiful Penn Station and was quickly greeted by Sarah.

Headed back to her apartment and I quickly started making the rounds meeting all of her friends and teammates that have heard about me for years. We made our way to “senior dinner” where I snuck right in and immediately began my “college experience”. Senior Dinner was to honor all of the Hopkins seniors with a classic Baltimore meal full of Old Bay and Natty Boh. Met a bunch more people and then took off to the on campus bar to catch the second half of the Warriors/Spurs game. We were the only ones in PJs and definitely got many questions on if we were “actually Warriors fans” – the answer: yes sir. I am and 72 wins is a pretty freaking big deal. After the game, we went back to her place to get dressed and off we were to formal! Some of Sarah’s good guy friends at school are in a frat and they were having their formal and she and I were invited. All dressed up we got and off we were – continuing my “college” experience. It was a solid night and an opportunity to meet even more of Sarah’s friends.

Woke up decently early to start our exploring of Baltimore. I didn’t know much coming into Baltimore – except that some parts are sketchy and that the Ravens and Orioles play there so I was totally open to whatever we decided! Had to run a few chores in the morning and then went to a little tulip garden. The city every season plants different flowers in this cute little garden in the middle of a suburb. You wouldn’t know it was there unless someone had told you or you happened upon it. Tulips are currently in bloom so there were a bunch of different sections of brightly colored, vibrant, peaceful flowers. It was beautiful. We then headed down to the Inner Harbor/Downtown and walked around for a while with Sarah pointing out all the different spots. Baltimore is surprisingly charming – much more charming than I imagined. After exploring for a while, Sarah had to head to an interview and group project so I went back to her place to do some work and decompress for a while. We had an early and low key night watching Netflix and doing chores.

Sarah was off to class bright and early and I slept in (which was SO lovely). Off to lunch at a local spot called Pete’s Grille (supposedly Michael Phelps eats here a lot when in town) and then we walked around Hampden which is a super cute little area – reminds me a bit of Haight. There was also a super cute coffee shop close by, so I parked myself there for a few hours while Sarah went back to class. Got a lot more work done and Sarah picked me back up after her class. As some of you may know, I collect State Quarters and remembered that Maryland’s National Park is Fort McHenry. I informed Sarah of this and we were on our to the Park! It was absolutely spectacular and well worth our time. We got there about an hour before it closed which meant we had just enough time to go through the exhibits and to see the changing of the flag. The changing of the flag was super cool. It’s always amazing when you meet people who just LOVE their jobs – they make you excited to learn too. We got to help with the folding of an fifteen stripe, fifteen star flag and also helped to put up a modern smaller one due to the gusty winds expected overnight. Very cool experience. Sarah has been living in Baltimore for four years now and has never eaten steamed crabs so we of course had to fulfill this dream of hers and headed to Locust Point Steamers to enjoy ourselves some messy and yummy crab. Went to Federal Hill Park to check out some spectacular views of the skyline and the beginning of the sunset. It got too chilly so we went into Fells Point to walk around for a bit and check it out. Called it a night after walking around for a while.

I’m about two and a half weeks into my trip now! It’s been great so far – awesome to be reunited with friends as well as learn about myself and my country. There have definitely been some tough moments as well as some phenomenal ones. I’ve been pushed out of my comfort zone on an hourly and constant basis which can get exhausting. I’m excited for what all is ahead and grateful for the community I have surrounding me!

Up next:

• Torie!
• Tagging along to some classes
• Beautiful scenery!

With Hope,

Monica

The changing of the flag at Fort McHenry

Federal Hills Park overlooking the harbor

Washington DC – Nation’s Capital

The train trip from Raleigh to DC was absolutely spectacular. We snaked all along different rivers and paths – the back country was beautiful. I took a little nap, sent some emails, listened to some fabulous podcasts (Sounds Good with Branden Harvey is a personal favorite), and enjoyed the scenery on the 6 hour trek.

Arrived in DC around 5PM with a slight delay. Immediately met up with Emily and her friend, Daisy. Emily had to head to class so Daisy and I took off back to the apartment. After a quick shower, I was off to dinner solo. Emily lives about a half mile walk from the White House so obviously I made a little pit stop there first. It is absolutely breath taking – a lot tinier and more subtle than you would expect, but still unreal to watch how many people flock to it and what an icon it has become. Met back up with Emily after her class/I finished dinner and we wandered back past the White House again with it all lit up at night on our way back to her place. We were being classic tourists taking photos in front of it and starring in awe when we decided – “Hey, let’s ask the Secret Service dude a bunch of questions…. can they even answer questions…?” This dude was fantastic. We grilled him for about 20 minutes on all sorts of things ranging from where are you from (Alabama) to was this what you dreamed your job was going to be when you were a child (like how people want to be vets or princesses) – his answer was not totally – to how long have you been doing this (1 year 2 weeks) to what does he want to do and what are the top questions/comments he gets asked. We chatted about California, my leg (it is a wee bit alarming looking…), and life. Eventually he had to move stations so we parted ways, but it definitely was one of the highlights of my time in DC.

Emily and I went out later that night because the bars and clubs are a huge part of DC culture and ended up having a heck of an experience and great time. Found a sweet little hole in the wall bagel shop for brunchish and Emily headed back to the apartment and I ended up meeting up with my friend, Brady. He was a TWLOHA staff member and recently moved out to DC for his dream job. We checked out the monuments together and caught up about the past 8 months. Talked a lot about what we want in life, societal norms and the status quo, and how to continue to be better people than we were the day before, we also talked a lot about the cultural differences between California, DC, and Florida. DC has a very cold culture which took me a back at first. Everything seems very calculated and people are stand offish and give off the “I have places to go, people to see, work to get done, no time for you” vibe. This leaves little space to be human – to have personal connections, to feel whatever you may be feeling, to enjoy the present. Once you get over that initial impression with people, I met some of the kindest souls, but it was definitely hard and jarring at first. Don’t get me wrong, I think DC is awesome and I would actually love to live there for a period of time, but it was very different than the past few places I had been.

As soon as I got back from hanging with Brady, Emily and I took off for dinner. One of her housemates came with us as well and it was cool to get to know her a bit better too. On the way back from dinner we ran into one of my elementary school friends walking around, small world!! After dinner, we chilled for a bit and then found a bar that was playing the Warriors game to catch the second half. Made friends with the bouncer who had a super cool life story and was totally open to talking and answering all of my questions. Checked out the Lincoln Memorial at night which was one of the more awe-filled moments of my trip so far. One of those moments where you stand in silence just admiring what is in front of you. We called it an early night because we had a big day ahead of us.

Woke up early and headed off to do some more sightseeing at the Jefferson Memorial, Basin, and check out the cherry blossoms that have no blossoms left. We also went to the Renwick Gallery which was Wonder themed right now. You should check out the feature on their website. Pretty phenomenal. Then we were off to Union Station for my adventure to Baltimore.

Tentative plans for Baltimore:

• Formal cause college, right?
• Meeting tons of people
• Lots of selfies
• Laundry!

With Hope,

Monica

At the White House

Emily and I at the Lincoln Memorial