North Carolina – The Tar Heel State

Some people need grace. Some people need love. Some people just need a safe space to share what’s weighing on their heart.

Right off the bat, when I got on the train in Orlando, I met my seat mate. She was traveling from Orlando to New York (20 hours straight) with no plan except to wait for a phone call. Over the next couple hours she went on to tell me why she was on the train, what life had looked like prior – the pain she had walked through, the loss she had endured, the mistakes that had been made plus the consequences – and what that phone call would mean. We eventually both headed to bed and woke up to a spectacular sunrise over the beautiful landscape of North Carolina.

I headed to a quaint little coffee shop, The Morning Times, in downtown Raleigh – I guess I’m the queen of finding hipster coffee shops/bakeries in towns I’ve never been too, it’s a talent. This was my spot for the next few hours while I waited for my friend to join me. Knowing who I am and maybe the fact I am carrying an extra leg on my back, I quickly struck up a conversation with a couple locals. They were both recovering addicts who recently moved to Raleigh – our conversation was heavy talking about what addiction looks like, but it was also incredibly light. They are so full of hope and so grateful to be alive today. We talked about TWLOHA, we talked about the future, and we talked about the little moments – that first sip of hot coffee on a cold morning or that kind smile on a tough day. After a quick prayer together, they headed off for the rest of their day and Taylor walked in about five minutes after they left.

Taylor has been a friend for well over 15 years now. She was one of my best friends from kindergarten through middle school – we lost touch throughout high school and college, but I knew if I was coming out here – I wanted to see her. Winston-Salem, where Taylor lives, is about a two hour drive each way from Raleigh, but she didn’t waver once and was happy to come out and find me! We grabbed lunch at the same little coffee shop I had sat at all morning and caught up, talking about our families, old friends, new friends, and what the next couple months look like. While I was a little nervous for what it would be like to see her, we fell right back into old times and reconnected immediately. Super grateful for our friendship and excited to see where it continues to go.

Kylie picked me up from The Morning Times that afternoon and we headed back to Chapel Hill which was going to be home for the next two nights. She was down in Florida with me so we didn’t have a TON of catching up to do and could spend more time getting to explore and meet her people. It was Kylie’s birthday the day I arrived so we explored a bit, ran some chores, and went out that evening to a local bar, Linda’s, for trivia night with some of her friends. Linda’s was fantastic – the people there were super cool and I did my classic ask ten thousand questions and get to know them which the bartenders thought was hilarious. As we all know, I can make friends anywhere I go and this was a prime example of that. Slept in the next morning and headed to lunch with Kylie’s brother, Brett, then explored campus some more and Kylie went off to class. I explored a bit by myself and eventually found a spot to hang out while I waited for her. That evening we headed out to celebrate her birthday at a friend’s house and ended up back at Linda’s. Took off early this morning and found another hipster bakery before getting on the train this morning!

North Carolina was beautiful, I’d love to come back one day and hopefully explore more of the landscape and meet the kind souls that chose here as home. These past few days were also reminders of how I will never have that “college” experience, and while I struggled with that in the past, I’m becoming more okay with it. Off on a train to Washington DC!

On deck for Washington DC:

• Emily!
• National monuments
• Whatever our heart desires

With Hope,

Monica

Taylor and I at The Morning Times

Kylie and I at Linda’s

Florida – The Sunshine State

Except when it rains for four days straight. One of my first purchases of this trip was obviously an umbrella which also means one of the things I forgot to purchase was sunscreen.

West Palm was the first stop to see Ryan! We had a great couple days and I loved getting to meet his housemates. They are super rad, welcoming, funny souls. Ryan and I kept it pretty low key while I was there, lots of just hanging out or driving around, but we did go on one big excursion – to the ZOO! We also had to make the long drive up to Orlando and ended up going on a mission from BossLady aka Jess which sent us to “Disney Springs” to explore before fetching Billy (which was an adventure in itself). We reunited with Kylie for dinner and called it an early night.

Finally the sunshine came out and we immediately headed for the beach! My heart needed to be back at the beach with some of my people. The ocean was a little rough (thanks rip currents), but that didn’t stop us from frolicking around and getting our salt water fix in. Spent about 7 hours at the beach, met some of the other past interns and current ones – they of course walked up as I was flopping around on shore – great first impression right?! Next up was the intern reunion, as we were getting ready we quickly realized Monica looked like an elegant lobster (remember how I mentioned forgetting to buy sunscreen?) which was the cause of some great laughs throughout the night. The intern reunion was something special. To be sitting in a room with 50+ interns and most of the staff that have made TWLOHA happen was unreal. There truly are no words for the atmosphere and the love in that room – for people you had never met before, but immediately knew they “got it”. There is nothing quite like it. Many stood up and gave speeches about what TWLOHA meant to them and what the past ten years have meant. I don’t think there was a dry eye by the end of it. The one theme that stuck out to me all night was: that pain is present even in celebration and that is okay.

We spent most of the next day at the beach (despite Monica’s stellar sunburn – don’t worry, aloe AND sunscreen were quickly purchased). That night was Heavy&Light, a concert TWLOHA puts on every year that I’ve had the privilege of attending the past few years out in LA. This one was extra special though – it was TWLOHA’s 10th celebration where “everyone” was invited. Absolutely stellar, breath taking evening. Full of honesty and songs and hope. The event is called Heavy and Light because life is both of those things and it’s the acknowledgement of that.

Sunday was definitely a recovery day, attending the events takes a lot out of you both physically and emotionally. Ate at all our last little stops we needed to and then Billy and I ended up sitting by the hotel pool for a few hours. Chatting about everything – the heavy to the light and all the spots in between. Grateful for friendships where those conversations can exist. Chased a sunset at the dock to cap off our weekend.

Monday and today were spent with the staff, packed some orders in the warehouse yesterday and ended up staying the night at one of the staff’s house with their little dude (August is almost 2). Today we headed to the office and I did a bunch of work and said my goodbyes.

One of the current interns (who is from California too) was an absolute champ and drove me out to Orlando from Melbourne which was super rad. Now I’m en route to North Carolina!

This week had me feeling very heavy and light. I was very aware of the pain present in my story, with loved ones lost to suicide, with walking alongside loved ones in addiction, self-injury, or eating disorders, with knowing those struggling with depression and never feeling “okay”. I was very aware that something and someone was missing. It was also incredibly light – the laughter, the hugs, becoming real life friends, the beach, the community, the love and hope. These were all present. Life is heavy and light and I’m so grateful to have this community walking alongside me in both. Cheers to 10, TWLOHA.

Coming up next:

• Seeing Taylor (elementary school friend)
• Wallowing in the loss of UNC in the championship
• Kylie’s birthday (intern)

With Hope,

Monica

Me, Billy, and Ryan at the beach!

The Beginning

The flight over went as expected. No delays, uncomfortable seats, minimal sleep. Mitch and I arrived in Florida around 7AM (4AM according to our bodies) and hit the ground running. Picked up our rental car and headed from Orlando to home for the next day, Cocoa Beach. Spending all summer out on the coast, it was definitely surreal to be back at first. I knew I’d make it back to Florida eventually, but I didn’t expect it to be this soon. Immediately went back to hating and cussing at the tolls because you are never prepared enough for them. Even when you think you are – you aren’t.

We spent the morning driving up and down the A1A, I showed him to all our little spots – the intern house, the office, the Tavern, the beach, yoga studio – all the nooks and crannies that were this summer. Both of us were absolutely exhausted from traveling and so we headed back to the hotel (thank goodness for early check-in!!) and took a quick snooze. Woke up to Florida’s favorite present of a thunderstorm so the beach and Gator N Golf were promptly removed from our schedule for the day. We had gotten coupons and everything so it was quite a bummer we couldn’t hold gators. During my nap, my BossLady caught wind that I was in town early and requested my presence at the office for hugs and encouragement. We headed back down the coast and Mitch got to meet all the staff and unexpected hugs and encouragement were passed all around. After the office, was Superman vs Batman time! With the weather being how it is, we decided it might be best to hang out indoors. Turned in for an early night as we were both still practically sleep-walking.

Feelings are a bit all over the place as I had to work Camp leading into this adventure and couldn’t really get excited or nervous before leaving. It was marvelous to be reunited with the staff yesterday, as they are some of the best humans I know, but it was for sure weird to be there and not be a current intern. It’s also been strange being in this neck of the woods again, and not going “home” (to the intern house). Going to be weirder and awesomer to be reunited with some of my crew on Thursday/Friday for the events this weekend!

Writing this as I sit in the Orlando Amtrak station waiting on my delayed train to West Palm Beach. Mitch just took off for his flight home so I’m officially solo for the next sixish weeks! Stoked for the times ahead, but definitely nervous too.

In store for the next week that I’ll be in Florida:

• West Palm Beach to visit Ryan (intern from the summer)!
• Intern Reunion!
• TWLOHA turns 10!!!
• Beach!

 

I’ll be blogging (hopefully) in between each state. I’ll give you a play by play (actually lies, it’ll probably be the highlights or super cool parts) of the state I just visited and a little sneak peak into what my “plan” is at the next stop.

Here’s to one hell of an adventure!

With Hope,

Monica

Mitch and I at SFO!